Good evening Internet! I first have to say that I have been so blessed by so many of you {yes you - my readers}. I so appreciate your encouraging comments - THANK YOU.
So This summer 4 women at my church and I were asked to take a summer challenge. The challenge was to daily spend time meditating, praying, journaling about the Glory of God. At the end of this challenge awaited a Women's Conference where we would each be entrusted with 10 minutes to share about our experiences. So here is the blog post I prepared as my 'script' for the session. {Yes, internet - I prepared for the event by writing out a blog post.... #sorrynotsorry}
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As I began to read and think through my experiences this summer, I can’t
help but smile. God has been so good to me through this challenge. He has challenged my motives, my
self-centeredness, my intentions, and my lack of trust in his promises. What an amazing blessing it is to go back and evaluate the past few months and
what God has done in my heart. I hope to do this type of evaluation often
as I continue to grow and mature in Christ - it truly is amazing to
intentionally look back at just how good He is to me in each season of life.
So a little bit about the challenge: Kandy gave us a set of questions to
consider as we start our journey this summer. A few of the questions she gave us to dwell on have really
been the questions I’ve used the most this summer to spur my thoughts and
meditations. She asked us to
consider: ‘How does my appreciation of God’s character increase my love for
Him?’ also she asked: ‘How does the Glory of God emanating from His character
influence my life? Motivate my maturity?’. There were several other wonderful questions but these two
where the ones I kept dwelling on throughout this summer.
Just to give you a little insight to the
resources I’ve been exposed to this summer: first - during Tuesday Girls (GSM
girls summer study) we went through the book ‘Follow Me’ by David Platt {DPlatt
as the girls and I started calling him}.
This book shared some amazing truth regarding what it means to truly be
a follower of Christ. Secondly,
during Launch this summer we went through the book ‘Future Grace’ by John Piper {Johnny P as I typically call him – apparently I have a thing for nick
names… I must get that from Scott.}
Both of these authors do not beat around the bush and you surely wont
find a writing by them that is aimed at making the reader feel warm and fuzzy
in their current state of life. I
have to say that I absolutely love that about these authors. If I wanted to read something to make
me feel good, then I’d read my old birthday cards.
So all of that to say – I read some really
gut-checking kind of books this summer.
I will say that Future Grace is by far the most challenging book I’ve
ever read. Not just because
it took a few times of reading several of the paragraphs to get the concept… but I
will also say that this is by far the book that has impacted me and my
spiritual walk the most to this point.
So a lot about my journey this summer – God used this book as a catalyst
for me so I figure it is appropriate to let you in on that.
I realized throughout this summer that I
didn’t- and often still don’t, have an appropriate view therefore an
appropriate appreciation for God’s character regarding His promises. This is the biggest area the Lord has
been challenging me through my journey this summer.
John Piper wrote an entire chapter on the
promise found in Romans 8:28 “We know that for those who love God all things
work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” It is amazing to me that I’ve grown up
in the church and I’ve grown up reading right over this passage and thinking
‘oh yeah, sure – all things work together for good…. Except me…. Except for
this situation.’
Until reading through and dwelling on the
promise of Romans 8:28 this summer – I never believed it was really true of some
of the seemingly horrible situations I’ve experienced through my life: major
back surgery at 20 years old or Scott losing his job a few months after
purchasing our home. Yet now I can
so clearly see God’s handprint is found in every step of the way.
Why is it that it is so much easier to see
Him at work when we look back on a situation instead of while we’re in it? I think for me, it has been true
because I tend to believe I will be an exception to that promise that time.
I just pray that I would be as confident in
the promise of Romans 8:28 in the midst of a trial as I am when I’m able to
look back on that season. You
know? It is so much easier to look
back and see His good – but oh how I long to be able to be confident in the
midst of these trying seasons! I
could get on another soap box about community here – but I wont. But I will say that part of our
responsibility to one another is to help each other see the workings of God in
each other’s lives. It is much
easier to see God at work in a seemingly horrible situation when it is not my
own situation.
John Piper says it so well– talking about
this promise found in Romans 8:28: “The freest life of love is the life
saturated with the confidence that nothing comes to me but what is good for
me.” (pg 125 chapter 9)
The ‘ah-ha’ moment for me was when I was
faced with this truth that God’s best for me and my idea of what is best for me
isn’t always the same. Trust me- I
had a few sassy moments with God about this one… like ‘really – you know how
much of a planner I am?!’ But thinking through this promise I’ve realized that
my plan ‘A’ won’t always happen… but His plan ‘A’ will ALWAYS happen and will
ALWAYS be what is truly best for me.
He only does what is best for His children. But we better remember ‘what
is best’ according to His definition and His purpose and His plan – not
according to ours. ‘what is best’
does not mean ‘happy’; ‘success’; ‘wealth’.
So thankful for this promise. I can rest. Any
moment I am uncertain or tempted to be anxious – He has placed me in that
moment and it is the best place I could possible be in that moment. There is a lot of freedom that I find
in that. My heart can rest. Does it 100% of the time? No… but I am intentionally seeking and praying
that those moments of rest and freedom increase as I grow more and more
confident in His promises. Because his
promises are true and are always true.. not based on the situation.
Another area that the Lord has been working
on me this summer is actually because of our Sunday evening series last year as
well as our ‘Follow Me’ study this summer. We went through 2 Timothy and I remember one of the first
sermons Pastor Bret gave was about the relationship that Paul and Timothy
had. The way they lived life
together – good/bad/and the ugly.
The love they had for one another- truly beautiful.
I’ve really been challenged regarding the
whole ‘Paul/Timothy’ thing this summer. It is easy to think that we only need a Paul in our life
during HS/College years…. After that you get to become a Paul yourself, right?! While that is true… as you grow and
mature in Christ we are called to intentionally invest in those younger (not
necessarily just age but young in spiritually). I had a mentor through HS and part of
college … but until this summer I wasn’t super convinced that I needed
someone to be investing in me now – in more of a 1 on 1 setting. I’ve convinced myself that I’m getting
good influences through the leadership of Launch and through the other GSM
leaders… but that isn’t the type of influence we’re talking about when we look
at Paul and Timothy. And it is funny
that thinking through Paul and Timothy’s relationship… these are not HS or
college aged guys. These are grown
men investing into one another’s lives.
Needless to say I have thought to myself on
several occasions, ‘Oh I can totally invest like that into someone…’ Not giving much thought about the HUGE
need I have to be invested in by someone like that. I have realized that it is much easier to get caught up with
being intentional in my role as a Paul in someone’s life and neglect the fact
that I need to also be a Timothy to someone else.
So I spent a lot of time intentionally
thinking and praying about that this summer. Asking the Lord to drop someone in my lap – make it obvious
to me who my Paul should be and oh by the way go ahead and don’t make me do the
uncomfortable thing that is ASKING someone to invest in me. Spending some time
praying about it – but still expecting a neon sign by God… given to my 'Paul' so
that I wouldn’t have to go outside my comfort zone. Satan had a hay day with that… feeding me excuses not to act
- like ‘if they wanted to invest in you –
they would be already’ or ‘what if
they say ‘no’? how embarrassing!’ which until this summer really made the
‘search for my Paul’ a last priority and I was labeling this season as one that
I’m ‘praying about it’ and this summer has really challenged me to move that to
the ‘I’m pursuing this’ category.
And I’m so glad that God is bigger than my comfort zone.
A phrase that I feel really sums up my
journey this summer is ‘be intentional’.
I hope you’ll join me.
Let’s be intentional.
Intentional to invest in others. Intentional to trust in what God is doing through His plan A
for our lives. Intentional to rely
on His promises. Intentional to
seek our Paul or timothy.
Intentional to point out the working of God in one another’s lives.
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Wow - you made it :) What has God been doing in your heart this summer?!
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