love love love...

I am in love.

I have been reflecting on this little thing called marriage, lately. 

Not gonna lie, I feel like this promise covenant is taken very lightly these days.  It seems like every where I turn, I hear of another classmate or old friend or family member getting a divorce.  This so hurts the core of my heart.

No worries - this isn't going to be a debbie downer post... just being real and telling you why I've been reflecting on marriage recently.

So I have this best friend named, Scott and I'm so lucky to call him hubby :)  I know... it sounds totally mushy- so if you don't like that sort of thing...  #sorrynotsorry

This picture has to be one of my favorite moments with Scott and it was caught on camera...

Neither of us could wait to say our vows and swear to love one another for the rest of our lives and to make Christ the center of our relationship.  Thank goodness God is the provider of that lifetime type of love. So glad it isn't up to us, because our my selfish nature would take over in a HEARTBEAT and eventually destroy.  #hardtoberealsometimes

Is marriage easy? No, you can look at the divorce rate in this country and see that it isn't easy.  In fact, it is a lot of work.   But work well worth the effort...

Marriage is just like the fairy tales growing up, right?  Internet, no!  However, I truly believe these movies have put an expectation down in our core regarding marriage and what it should look like.   This is very scary because these unrealistic expectations will not be met.  If you fall into this trap... please seek me out and we'll chat.  #alottosayaboutthis 

Is it rewarding?  Absolutely!  Being married has truly changed my perspective of relationships... of loving others... of Christ's love.  I have been challenged so much by Scott in only the way a Godly leader of a husband could do.  We both encourage one another to step outside of our comfort zones and that is simply beautiful to me.  Not to mention... We have a ton of fun together. I love living life with him! He sees me at my goofiest and my grumpiest and still loves me :)

We have walked so much life together the last 11 years we've known each other.  I have loved every second of it--some moments have been easier than others. 

Here are some of the things I've learned in my nearly 5 years of marriage... nope- not even going to suggest I am an expert or have enough experience in marriage to really give any valid advice... but here is my heart anyway... take it or leave it!

-Communication is KEY.  Ok girls, we just have to get over this notion that guys should always know exactly what we're thinking and feeling just by the way we are acting.  Marriage has no room for drama queens.. or kings for that matter - hehe  But seriously.  Girls- guess what... the words you say are the words your husbands/boyfriends/fiances hear.  Let's get over the passive aggressiveness and be open, honest, and real when we communicate with those we love.

-Be selfless.  Going back to the fairy tales mentioned above- relationships are not all about me.  I can get so wrapped up in myself and neglect any consideration for him--even in the silly day to day things in life.  Being selfless is seriously a key to a healthy relationship.  Both husbands and wives should put the needs of their spouse before their own.  How beautiful is that?  Lord- make my heart desire to serve others before myself.

-Realize that a marriage is an illustration of Christ's relationship with the Church.  This is where that little covenant I mentioned earlier comes into play.  When we 'say yes' are we saying yes to the idea of planning a wedding and going on a vacation afterwards?  Are we saying yes to a selfish desire to gain a certain status?  Sometimes decisions are made VERY lightheartedly, is it because we don't get what a covenant is?  It is a much bigger deal than a promise.  Do we truly get the commitment required by this covenant? 

-Encourage one another.  Know one another's strengths and weaknesses.  Be sure to get excited with your spouse and encourage areas of improvement. Make it a point to build one another up... daily.

-Commit to giving and receiving honest, loving correction- this one is tough... especially for people like me who require an extra dose of gentleness in this regard.   I need a huge truth/love sandwich when it comes to correction.  Yes- pulling out the Laina logic here.  Commit to one another that this correction is done out of love-- and be sure to give it with the love of Christ.  If both parties are pursuing Christ first... they will not only automatically grow closer to one another.... but they will humbly approach correction whether giving or receiving it.

-Never go to sleep upset with one another.  This has been huge in our relationship.  Especially while I was working full time and a full time student.  It seemed as though the only time we had to talk was right before bed.  Well- when we are tired we both get a little grumpy.. which does not always make for the best attitudes to approach a discussion about a disagreement.  So getting the issue discussed and getting on with life before we go to sleep has been HUGE for us.  My nature is to hold a grudge... and not forget the instance, instead let it pile.  Lord, you know this is something I constantly battle with, and I sincerely ask you for an attitude towards forgiveness like Yours.

-Know each others love language.  I'm not endorsed by an authors-- nor do I think you HAVE to read a book to tell you how your spouse gives and receives love.  While, these resources can be great starting points- it is not a one size fits all type of concept.

-Keep nothing from one another.  This one can be touchy... some people will disagree with me here.  I truly believe to have a healthy marriage- the dirt has to be discussed.  Things from the past can really hurt to bring up and hash out.  I truly believe an open and honest relationship is the healthiest-- and that means talking about each others pasts-- no matter how hard it is. Like I said.. marriage isn't easy.  But to have a marriage that is an illustration of Christ's relationship with the church-- everything must be out in the open and forgiveness granted willingly and graciously.

-It is so important to invest in your spouse.  Spend time with them, making them a priority- not an after thought to your day.  Invest in who they are- not attempting to mold/change them into who you think they should be.  Be in love with who THEY ARE.. not who you think they could potentially be- that will always end in heartache.  

Well- I'm going to stop there for tonight... there is so much more I'd love to say... so I'm sure this will get brought up again.

What have you found to be key to any marriage?  Even if you're single, engaged-- what have you seen in other couples that seem to be key elements to a healthy relationship?

Let's Catch Up!

I've had a lot going on the last 2 weekends... and several events that are WAAAAAYYYYY worth sharing!

Let's start with Labor Day weekend... yes I'm going to talk to you about happenings from 2 weeks ago.  #sorryaboutit 

Might be old news to you-- but just be excited to relive these moments with me.

So it started on Friday August 31st at 5:30pm.  Scott, Jonathan, and myself started for our weekend adventure to Salem Springs, AR.  Yes... this is a place only worth visiting if you have someone there to see. :)  Lucky for you us... we did!  We were making the trip to AR to visit a few of our college friends (Troy, Danielle, and Cameron) who attend John Brown University. 

Our trip started off with some heavy traffic, but then it was smooth sailing... well at least for me- sitting in the back seat reading a good book and enjoying the rainy day.  Doesn't get much better than that...

 

Yes, internet, I do use a picture as my bookmark so it will encourage me to open the book again!  I used to need motivation to read-- so glad I'm over that stage of my life.  #collegetextbookburnout

 

We arrived around 9:30pm to our destination... Troy and Danielle's apartment, where Cameron met us.  They had made yummy tacos, guacamole, salsa, and all the fixin's.  It was adorable to see them being domestic together.. such newlyweds.  I love it!

 

Jonathan was at least paying attention when I said, 'Hey guys, let me take a picture'

Here is the proof that we did see the campus:

 

The campus was very pretty... and it was a perfect day to walk around outside!

And proof that we even attempted to break into the Art building....

After touring the campus from outside the buildings... we went to lunch at Zaxby's... a Chik-filA wannabe.  Close, but not really. #sorrynotsorry

 

We went to a shopping center and walked around for a bit... and of course had to try on sunglasses.  Internet... this is totally normal.

 

I found this adorable scarf at American Eagle that I can't really stop thinking about. Probably gonna need to find a way to add this to my bday/christmas wishlist.  Yes.. I've already started my wishlists for the year... don't judge me, internet.

 

After an afternoon of shopping and hanging out, we started our trek back home, with a few planned stops along the way.  We stopped in Joplin and were both encouraged and devastated by what we saw.  It has been over a year since the tragic tornado that took so many lives and scared so many others.  There are several things rebuilt, which is so encouraging.  However, restoration is still needed-- physically and more importantly- spiritually.  I was brought to tears as we drove through and prayed over the rubble.  

 

We then took an hour or so detour to stop in Springfield, MO on our way home to see Jonathan's sister, and our friend- Lindsey!  Of course, we had to eat at our favorite restaurant there in S-town... Mexican Villa!!! YUM!  

 

After dinner, we needed some sugar to get us through the last 2.5 hour home-stretch.  So we stopped at Braum's and while we were there... I found a new friend.  

Meet, Mr. Cart.  

 

It was all Jonathan's fault.. he asked if I needed a cart.  At that very moment... I did.  

I needed that cart to assist my ice cream journey.  So Mr. Cart and I stood in line patiently and ordered our ice cream.  Once we got our order... it all went down from there.  It isn't even funny to write it out... so I won't. Those of you that were there... and as slap-happy as I was, remember the events very well.  I would say this was truly a 'had to be there' moment.  But know that it was hilarious... and worth mentioning!

So we returned Saturday night and on Sunday we heard an amazing message from PBC.. not amazing as in 'oh that made me feel so good' (that's not how SWBC does church)... uhhhh no-- it was challenging, tear provoking kind of impact-actually.  Seriously... it rocked my world. Check it out here ... it was the 9/2/12 message.

After church we went to lunch and had a birthday celebration for Scott's Dad's birthday which it is always good to see his family!  We had some amazing BBQ at my 2nd favorite KC BBQ joint- Gates! Then some of Scott's mom's famous chocolate eclair cake.  Yuuuuummmmm!

Sunday night I had a reunion with some of my closest girlfriends.  It had been so long since we hung out together-- it is pitiful how long it had been.  If this post wasn't already too long.. I'd spend some time chatting about these ladies... but don't worry- it is coming.. so stay tuned!

Then on Labor Day we slept in and went to Santa-Cali-Gon Days to see our new friends, Corey and Ali! Corey is soooooo musically gifted and he had an hour on the gospel stage.  We were so blessed by the songs he wrote and blown away by his talent, and excited for an excuse to get a funnel cake!

  We have a double date scheduled so I'm sure you'll hear more about them later.

 

So-- I was going to update you on the happenings from this past weekend as well-- however I see this as a great opportunity to dangle a piece of bait in front of you which will make you come back to visit again to find out what happened!  #don'tgettooexcited

Have a great week, lovelies!

What did you do over Labor Day weekend?

Public speaking... no thanks

Public speaking is not my thang.

Of course God knows this fact about me-- but every once in a while He decides to remind me how big He is and how little I am.

So a month or so ago I was asked to prepare a presentation for a monthly staff meeting, which happened to take place today.

Also about a month or so ago the youth leadership decided that we would split the guys and girls up for a several week study.  Along with that decision, we opted to rotate teaching responsibilities between some of the lady leaders for the girl time and rotate some of the guy leaders for the guy time.  Naturally my first week to teach was today.

Yes- I used all of these resources in my teaching tonight :)

September 5, 2012 has been a long, tiring day.  I have been fighting feelings of inadequacy and feelings of anxiety because surely more time could have been spent to prepare for these presentations.  I also spent the day fighting negative self-talk about my abilities to speak in front of groups of people-regardless of age. 

Of course the motivated, competitive side of me loves these opportunities to better myself.  I truly believe He put these opportunities in my life for a reason.  I hope and pray it isn't to speak in front of large groups of people on a regular basis.  But I do believe He is preparing me for the future He has planned for me. 

Guess what? God is so good!  He even managed to stop my negative thoughts in their tracks tonight!  I am so thankful for a God that challenges, and pushes me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to get to work tomorrow and sign up for as many public speaking opportunities I can find.  But I do feel that I am one step closer to a bearable comfort level.  One step at a time! 

What have you done this week that was out of your comfort zone?

Resourceful garlic bread...

So, I'm not usually the type that brags about their cooking... mostly b/c there isn't THAT much to brag about.  I have a few meals that I make really well... but I don't usually use recipes ... I'm not the best at following directions when it comes to food.  I tend to think.. 'oh I'm sure this spice would taste good in here'... sometimes it works... sometimes it doesn't :)  So I tend to stay with things I'm comfortable cooking.

Anyway...

Did you all cook out over the holiday weekend?  Do you have some extra hamburger buns?  Well... I do have extra hamburger buns- but not from cooking out.  lol

Tonight was spaghetti night. I love me some spaghetti, and nothing goes better with spaghetti than some yuma-licious garlic bread.. better yet- garlic cheese bread!

Growing up we always used leftover hotdog buns for our garlic bread.  So tonight I decided to be 'thrifty' and use our leftover buns from 'taverns' (family version of sloppy joes) as our garlic cheese bread.  I was feeling a little 'cooking-show-ish' tonight so I got a little excited about my spices and it tasted amazing!

So when I say 'cooking-show-ish' I really mean that I am playing a chef on a famous cooking show.  Most of this show happens in my head... but I must say, I'm one of the funniest people I know.

So only the best cooking show hosts set out all of their ingredients and then explain each step they take towards the heavenly result! Internet, I'll spare you the hilarious step by step that played in my head... I don't know you THAT well yet

 

The hubby doesn't like a bunch of meat in the spaghetti sauce.  Since HyVee doesn't sell 1/2 lbs of 93/7 meat-- I get to let the creative juices flow.  So I decide to brown all of the meat and split it in 1/2 once cooked.  I make the spaghetti sauce out of 1/2 and taco meat out of the remaining 1/2.  That provides 2 lunches for me, on top of the leftover spaghetti!  I LOVE taco meat with tortilla chips.. and I usually take a 100 calorie package of Wholly Guacamole to accompany my taco salad-y remix.

 The finished product, in my adorable Fiestaware dishes!

So tonight I cooked a dinner for 2, and 4 lunches-- that's pretty productive in my book!  

I'm thinking food network needs to contact me stat!  Oh so many show titles...   

Random Ray...

So I'm sitting here considering some new blog topics... and a perfect title comes to mind.. 'A Day at Work with Ray'.  Then it hit me...I work in a confidential information overload environment and I don't want to have to wipe out all of my readers, I like having you around (I really do!). #CorporateHRproblems

Then another, more realistic, idea came to me:  BLOG SPOTLIGHT.  But please be warned: I will NOT over commit myself by saying I will highlight some of my favorite blogs on a weekly basis.  But I do plan to add this topic to the blog mix.

I have several friends who blog and I love all of their blogs, so please don't be offended if you aren't listed today!

Well you've read an awful lot about Laina, here. I really think you'd be so encouraged by her blog.  Eventually we'll get her convinced to switch from the dark-side and join Blogger.  She is genuine, loves to love others, she loves others WELL, is in college, and loves Jesus- doesn't get much better than that!  I truly love this girl, we are kindred spirits!

So when I first started blogging a couple of years ago, I tried so hard to convince my dear friend, Candace to get started.  She has always been a great writer and she's artsy... which always helps.  So after some convincing-- she gave in--- I am pretty persuasive :)  Well, just as I expected, she has quite the following.  I'd like to ensure everyone takes note when she becomes blog-famous.  What can I say, I know talent when I see it :)  must be the HR coming out!  She has a beautiful little girl and blogs about yummy food that she tries and other random life experiences.

Also consider visiting Ashley's blog, she and I went to college together at good ol' Southwest Bridal Baptist University.  She has adorable kids, pregnant with another little girl, has a beautiful story to tell about being a mom.

So we'll stop there this time.  I have so many others that I love dearly... I'm currently waiting for a few of my dear friends to pick up the blogging memo and update more often... you know who you are! :)

I can't wait to share with you about my weekend- it has been a good one!

What all are you up to this long holiday weekend? What are some of your favorite blogs?

100% extrovert...

I. AM. EXTROVERTED. First step is admitting it, right?

The psychology major in me would love to share with you one of the main difference between introverts and extroverts. It is all about what one needs to be 're-charged'.   Introverts typically need some time to themselves in order to recharge, while typically extroverts need to be around others to be recharged.

I'm sure there are opportunities and threats to both, but tonight... I'm dissecting the extroverts specifically. #sorrynotsorry

Disclaimer: I've been resisting my twitter obsession and avoided blogging in hashtags, but I can't take it any longer!

So, I am in the business world, HR specifically... And I love every second of it. So naturally I SWOT analyze everything... It's the only true way... Right?! ;) Oh sorry, it means Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats.  Don't worry, I'll try not to bore you with an entire SWOT analysis.

Well at Launch we had a great discussion that made me realize the dangers (threats-SWOT style) being an extrovert can have on me.   Because introverts need time to themselves to recharge.. they usually have an internal signal that tells them they are past due for some 'me time'.  I don't have such a signal.

Our discussion was wonderful because it made me realize this danger... because I am extroverted, I don't take time for myself.  I don't even realize that I need it, but realistically everyone needs at least a little time to themselves (some need more time than others) if for no other reason than to get to know yourself... right?  Now that I think about it... the introverts I know, know themselves better than most do.  That is the danger of being an extravert in my world.  I don't know myself and my real needs as well as I should.

During this discussion Kandy (oh my goodness, she is a VERY wise woman of God whom I totally and completely adore-- she is such a blessing in my life- words can't even describe-- well maybe they could... *lighbulb: blog topic*).. sorry.. where was I?  Kandy made a comment that 'We can do anything but we can't do everything'.  I was really struck by this because along with being extroverted, I tend to over commit myself.  We talked a lot about knowing our God-given limits and accepting embracing them.  When we realize our limits... we not only lean on Him more for the lack of our ability, He becomes more and more of a real need of ours.  This is beautiful and at the same times produces a little anxiety in my prideful heart.

I look forward to every Thursday night when I get to be around my beautiful community at Launch.  I can't wait to learn and be challenged, and probably cry (we are doing a girls/guy separate study.. its bound to happen)!

Well, I know I could go on for days and days on this topic... but I'll stop right there- for now.

Hope y'all have a great week!

Sweet, Sweet Memories...

Internet... have you heard of a Smashbook?  Really?  They are amazing!  As you know, I love to scrapbook.  Well there are some things (ie: cards, random items) that you want to keep but you aren't sure what to do with them... SMASH THEM!  It is that simple. 

See...

See my logic is, basically things that aren't really able to take up a whole page in a scrapbook... I smash it.  It is a great place to go and look through the notes of encouragement I've received and birthday cards and such.

Notice in the bottom picture... the pile of 'to be smashed' items... can't wait to set some time aside to catch up.  This will be my reward for making huge progress on my goal of cleaning/organizing my home! :)

Internet, do you think we ever get too old to be motivated off a rewards system?  I'm going to take that as a 'NO'!

I love my memories... and I love being able to go back and re-create them in my mind!  What are some of your favorite memories that I have been a part of?  Lets re-live them together!